Hyper-modern theory of Love

Well, I accept that the title is absolutely stupid. Theorizing love. Yet this is what the entertainment industry doing for centuries. Theorizing loves in the form of stories, novels, movies and epics. But love depicted in movies is in a distorted way, giving a misinterpreted picture and idea, thus overshadowing the natural feelings and emotions of love. Arguments can be that, movies are reflections of real life, but it is also to be remembered that ideas reflected in movies are reflected on the society too. This has certainly affected the larger population of youth, which is reaffirmed by more number of teenage clients in counseling centers.  So I felt a refreshing perspective is need of the hour. Though I may not be much experienced for this kind of write up, I believe, am as experienced as it takes. So here it is…

Love is togetherness, forever and more, till death and even after that in the havens of god.

But there must be spaces in that togetherness, and let the music dance in those little spaces.

Love one another, but let that love not be as strong and mighty as a mountain.

Let it rather be as elegant and serene as a calm mountain stream between the shores of hearts.

Fill each other with joy.

But let it not be the only source of happiness.

Stand together.

But let each of you to be alone, for strings of guitar are alone, but they melt in music when in harmony.

Love is not stealing away the heart, but to give it happily, yet not into each other’s keeping.

Love is not “I can’t live without you”,

But, “You gave me what it takes to go on without you”.

(Inspired from the works of Khalil Gibran)

"How big mistake is it?"

Sitting on the sea shore, naturally we look only at the restless waves, waves that travel back and forth without peace. Our vision is limited to the waves. That is why I guess most of the poems on sea, has ‘waves’ as the central theme.

Looking only at the corner of the ocean, we think it’s shallow, restless and unclear. So when we are asked to imagine, draw or describe about ocean, waves are the first thing that comes to our mind and then, sea shore. The ‘restless’ waves and ‘shallow’ seashore.

How big our mistake is, to imagine the ‘restless’ waves and ‘shallow’ seashore as, ‘one big ocean’!

               

     Look straight. Broaden your vision. Envision as long as possible. How majestic is the ocean! How long! How wide! How deep! How clear! How calm! Isn’t this the real ocean? Undivided, deep, wide, continuous, independent. The ocean that has everything within it. Don’t limit your vision with waves, for you may leave without even knowing about the beautiful and serene ocean.

                Similarly, looking at small troubles, difficulties, failures and losses, we imagine it as the whole life. “How big mistake, is it?” They are only the losers, who claim, “Life is pain, hex and, life is full of difficulties”. Remember! They are those persons who never dared to think beyond waves.

             


   If you aren’t blind. If you can see- Dare to see beyond the waves- dare to read, not only the first line of the book in your hand, but through the book till the last line- It is then you can call yourself as someone, who saw the ocean, as someone, who had read a book, as someone who lived the life.

THE PAPER BOAT

When I was in Kinder garden, my parents made me believe, ‘Success’ means reciting alphabets and numbers, without mistake. When I grew into 5^th grade, getting into ‘Top 5 rank’ meant success to me.  When I grew bigger, standards of success too grew bigger. Success meant getting into prestigious institutes for higher studies. I got into one, and thought it’s all over. But life taught me that I had just begun.

                All through my childhood, I wondered, “When I would grow up”.  And now that am a grown up, I worry, “Why did I grew up”. Life was so simple. ’ Home works’ were the only trouble I faced, ’Good byes’ were valid only till the next day morning, ‘Greatest pain’ I felt was due to the scratch in the knee, when I fell down from cycle. ‘Longest waiting moments’ were the ad intervals between the cartoons. ‘The worst character I ever faced’, was that bully who broke my pencil tip.

  

                Back to reality. I stood bewildered. Success wore a thousand new faces, and so did the people.  Everybody had their own definition of success. Success meant to top the college, to lead a college gang, to have a girl friend, to win competitions, to co-ordinate seminars and conferences, to dance in cultural, to do highly creative projects, to do master degree in USA, to secure highly paid job, to satisfy parents, cousins, friends, girlfriend, next house uncle, a nameless well wisher, and it never ends. Each day, every new face I saw, gave a new definition to success.

                Random thoughts hap hazarding my mind, struggling to coin my own definition of success; I strolled through a rainy road, where I saw a kid struggling to float her ‘Paper boat’. Wishing to help her, I took the paper boat and unfolded it.  I read in it, my definition for success, in a shabby handwriting,

“SUCCESSFUL IS THE PERSON, WHO HAD LAUGHED OFTEN AND LOVED MUCH. WHO HAS GAINED THE RESPECT OF THE CHILDREN. WHO LEAVES THE WORLD BETTER THAN HE FOUND IT, WHO HAS NEVER LACKED APPRECIATION FOR THE EARTH’S BEAUTY. WHO NEVER FAILS TO LOOK FOR THE BEST IN OTHER OR GIVE BEST FOR THEMSELVES”

                I silently thanked the kid for ‘paper boat’. She looked gleefully at me, as the paper boat sailed ceremoniously through the rain water.

                                                     “Have you found your ‘paper boat’?”

TO WHOM-SO-EVER IT MAY CONCERN

There are times when we feel completely let down,like everything doomed on us, when we fail in an important commitment in our life or failing in an exam, sport or business or lose of dear ones, or loss of love, etc. Times  when we feel we had hit a rock wall, instead of a fairy tale ending. And when we finally look up, and comes the question in our mind,             “What to do next?”, probably an awkward moment for every one of us.

One thing you should remember in mind during these times is, This is life, a real life, more realistic and more true than in movies and much more true than our imaginations. You might have worked hard and harder than ever, loved someone or something, more than anyone or anything. But it has happened and went out of your hands. All you can and should do is to remain CALM. As Buddha says,

“WAIT, CALM DOWN. LET YOUR DISTURBED MIND GETS CLEARED FIRST. LET THE STORM IN YOUR HEART PASS AWAY. LET PEACE SETTLE THERE. ONLY PEACE CAN GIVE YOU EYES TO SEE THINGS CLEARLY. AFTER THAT YOU WILL NOT NEED ANYBODY TO TEACH YOU ANYTHING. IF YOU GOT CALMED DOWN, YOU CAN FIND YOUR WAY YOURSELF.YOU CAN REACH YOUR GOAL”

Failure doesn't kill you, but it increases your desire to make something happen. After all life’s vast. You have all the time to win back what you lost or to take revenge. When you were a kid, you wouldn't have quit playing "Super Mario", once you lost the first time. So is life. Whatever situation you are in, mountains will always be there..Climb over the mountain and when you finish it, you will find another one, higher and mightier…Never ever hesitate to gear up for that one too.


One last thing you can do to scare away your failure, loss, or what-ever bothers you is this. Look in the mirror yourself and.........................