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                           'Dedicated to the person, who refilled my thoughts with ink'

     How many times have you witnessed an accident? The sound of shattering glasses, screeching noise of metals, whimpers of agony, last minute struggle for life, a moment of stunned silence, and then comes the ambulance.

 

     I live in an accident prone zone, and I used to see ambulance speeding past me atleast four to five times in a regular day. You can't miss to see the glimpses of panic stricken faces of  people going along with the victim, sitting inside in disbelief, due to struggle between the heart and mind to accept the reality. A few hours before the accident they would have been totally different people. Friends who were about to fall in love, playing the you-say-it-first game, a couple who have fought with each other over a forgotten dinner date, playing I-wont-talk-with-you game, a dad celebrating his son's graduation, they could have been anything, but with full of hopes and dreams.

     Usually the agony of the victim, prolongs until his last breath. But for others the pain might last forever. Pain of the unspoken words, unexpressed feelings, untold apologies, unreturned thank you, unproposed love, unresolved fights & broken dreams, will weigh their soul forever. Just the thought that your texts are never gonna get replied and calls are never gonna get picked, will crush the hard feelings and ego forever.

     The sheer essence life is its unpredictability. But we have been used to run behind materialistic things like money, jobs, works, power and positions. At some point we get to run so fast, that we stop noticing people around us, and take them for granted.

So walk slowly. Smile at the next person coming in front of you. 

Make that call...

It's never too late to forgive,

It's never too late to say that sorry,

It's never too late to say that thank you,

It's never too early to say that hi.

And...Never be too busy for anyone

A virgin's diary

Disclaimer: Wherever the word 'Sex' is mentioned, it indicates its verb form, and not the noun.

It all began as a casual talk with my father. Myself being 24 years old, talks drifted between career, getting settled and marriage. At a point of time, I was totally taken aback when my father said, I should get married to have kids who will be future citizens, and the fabrics of society. 

 The first question that popped up in my mind is 'Why can't I have kids without marriage?'. And it led to another question, 'Is marriage a license to have sex and kids??? '. And when I began to think in these lines, I remembered number of instances in movies of regional language, where the dialog pops up, 'Those things (Obviously sex)  can wait till marriage'.  The feeling to have a physical relationship (I meant sex!!! It 's not a vulgar word), is as much as a feeling of anger, happiness, pain, and any range of natural emotion. It is a natural feeling, as much as any other feeling.

Sex is also a form of expression, a physical version of love.  Which is why the art of having sex is also called as 'Love making'.  So if 'Freedom of expression' is a fundamental right of every citizen, so is the freedom to have sex, irrespective of the marital status.  

 I have personally seen many boys and girls, whose dignity has been ripped off, just because they had sex. They had been accused and handled worst than a murderer or cheat. And pre-marital sex is the biggest taboo in our society still. I mean what difference is the marriage gonna make? Are they gonna have longer time of fun, when compared to premarital sex? Or are the children born out of marriage is gonna have higher IQ?

To call a child which is  not born out of marriage, as a  'illegal child' is downright stupidity. In the times of dynasties, the children which are not born out of marriage will pose a threat to the throne. That is the reason why they were called illegal. Following the same logic in modern times of our democracy is mere stupidity.

And taking on 'arranged marriage Vs Love marriage'. I like to keep it simple,

''Marriage should be born out of love, and Love is not a product of marriage. In that case its 'conditional love'. It's like. ' I love him/her just because am married to him/her, I won't give a damn otherwise' ''

P.S: Am a virgin.

STORY OF RELIGION

Once upon a time, a man started using walking stick, as he got his leg fractured. He found the walking stick very useful and  he even started using it for other works too. He promoted the use of walking stick to his family, friends and neighbors, and suggested them to use walking sticks. Slowly, they too got interested in using walking sticks.

And as the time passed, it became a fashion to use walking sticks. It became an idea that people can't walk without walking sticks. Only very few people walked independently without walking sticks.  But they were laughed and mocked at. These people tried to explain that, 'walking stick is not necessary, and people can walk without it' . This made them the enemies of society, and they got punishments for talking against walking stick. People who didn't used walking sticks were discriminated from rest of the society.

And till this day, there are people who still believe that they can't walk without walking stick, and people who are walking without it.

The other half

There are people whom you love,

and there are people who loves you.

There are people whom you hate,

and there are people who hates you.

There are people whom you care for,

and there are people who cares for you.

There are people whom you need,

and there are people who needs you.

Most of the time, our life gets over with the first half of people.

When you are able to find the second half of people and embrace them,

the life will get complete and meaningful. 

An unwritten love story

I saw him in my street, two weeks back,

Playing with an old torn foot ball.

A 2 year old handsome male,

Tall enough for his age.

It was love at first sight,

I fell for his dark eyes and four legged walk.

My friends gossiped that he's too naughty.

Well, when he's mine, I will cut his tail.

I was waiting for a chance to talk to him,

and it happened one day, in a quite unromantic way.

He poo-pooped in front of my home while playing.

And I shouted at him pretending to be angry,

"Hey you! Why are you behaving like a dog? Wait I will complain to your parents"

He looked into my eyes, and said "Call me Jeeno", and went away.

That was the last time I saw him,

But I heard stories about him, from my friends.

Finally I decided to meet him on his birthday to apologize,

the day I would never forget in my life.

I was walking into his street, with a gift,

and there was lot of commotion, people running here and there.

And finally when the dust cleared, I couldn't believe what I saw,

the 'leg piece bone' I brought for him, fell down from my mouth.

They took Jeeno ,

in a Municipality dog van.

“மனிதர்உணர்ந்து கொள்ள இது மனித காதல் அல்ல”

(This is not a human love, for humans to understand)

The one without title

You can't stop blushing, when you hear it's name,

Everything else moves down to second priority when it comes to it,

Your intelligence, ego and pride crumbles, when it's with  you,

You can't stop thinking about it, every time you listen a song,

You can't cross a gift shop without thinking of it,

You can’t even think of a title for your writings,

You can find it in every line of every story or poem you read,

It has turned common men into writers, poets and artists,

Mankind has swore to steal the moon, and bend the rainbow,

for the sake of it.

I guess that's why God has placed sun, moon and all the planets so far way,

for the fear of mankind, and their,

first love.

From a 'Yet-to-be-broken' heart...

I was amused and confused when my 13 year old cousin, advised me during a casual conversation about relationships, “Don’t believe girls anna, they will break your heart”. He is not the only one. The phrases like, “She left me for someone”, “She cheated me”, “and she ripped my heart apart” are more common, when broken relationships are the context of conversation. The very common advice given to any guy getting into a new relationship is, “Don’t get too involved, else you will suffer a lot to get back, if in case she dumps you”.  And in any broken relationship, it is girls, who always bear the cross.

Why is it always girls who bear the blame? Are they so heartless and vicious? Or are we looking at only one side of the coin?

One logical answer I could think of is that, “Because it is a man’s world”.

Its men who tell the stories, who writes the history, who direct movies, who write lyrics. No man would like to project a negative image of him. It is no wonder, a 13 year old guy, giving such comments on girls-Effect of movies and stories told.

A guy meets gal, they fall in love, and after a certain point of time, the relationship goes through certain hardships and it breaks. The guy dumps his worries to his friend over a table of drinks, “I loved her to the core, but she left me. Don’t believe girls. Love sucks”.  The guy anguishes over the friend’s sorrow, and he shares it with another guy and it snow balls and a smart fellow brings the real life story in film reels, and it reaches masses, “Don’t believe girls, love sucks”.

It should be understood that, “…She left me…” is just the tip of an ice berg. If the friend spared a couple of minutes to question, “Why she left him”, his answer, if true, might have revealed a different picture.   

Girls in our society are bound by innumerous chains of society. Few girls, who are smart and bold enough to break the chain and fly free, are branded as “unorthodox and anti-social”. Few more who are happy and peaceful enough to be in shackles are the celebrated one in our society. The rest of the lots, who try to fly free without breaking the chains, suffer the most. They succumb to societal and parental pressure, at the cost of their actual desire and dreams. Unfortunately the third category of girls holds the majority of girl’s population.

This is just a simple perspective from an inexperienced guy. But I believe there are stories of girls, untold. Or are the voices unheard? Silence is golden, but not always.

13 things 2013 taught me

     Some people value time by the money they earned, some value time by the happiness they had, some value time by the people they had spent it with, some value time by the work they had did, and some people, they never value time. Me, I value time by the things I have learnt. The lessons learnt which will help me to live a better tomorrow.

     At every phase of our life, we experience things. Good and bad. But only at a certain point in our life, we learn from our experiences. Am sharing here the 13 most valued things I learnt in the past year, just in a belief that, “Learning from others mistake is the most efficient form of learning”

1.       Living and working out of your comfort zone makes you stronger.

2.      People change. We all know it. But it is better to remember that YOU ALSO WILL CHANGE. After all, you too come under ‘people’ category.

3.      Everything in this world is relative. Your best friend will be someone’s worst enemy. Don't expect everyone to have the same belief as you. Differences bring people closer.

4.      If you know to say the’ right word’ in the’ right place’ at the ‘right time’, you can get anything you want. But remember that, silence always has its value.

5.      Nobody in this world can be called ‘the richest’ or ‘the poorest’, for the richest person will be poor in some aspects and the poorest person will be rich in some aspects. And there’s always someone better and worse than you. Every person has a place and worth in this world.

6.      Nobody in this world is truly independent. We all depend on somebody or something for one thing or other. The fabric of a society is “Dependency”.

7.      Most noble characters of the society live, bottom most in ladder of the society.

8.      Never ever judge a person based on face value and never ever believe a sweet word. Make it a thumb rule that both will be wrong.

9.      Your parents are the only persons whom you can trust unconditionally.

10.  Few kind words and a moment of appreciation can change someone’s life.

11.  Living without preconceptions can make every day of your life interesting.

12.  Letting things and people go is not easy. But it will make you lighter and fly higher.

13.  Just because it fit you at one point doesn’t means you need to keep it forever. Whether it’s your favorite pants or your ex.

14.  If you thought this list would have end with 13^th point, then you didn’t understood life yet, for life is full of surprises. The biggest and truest thing I learnt, 

                                “BE READY FOR SURPRISES…ALWAYS”

Hyper-modern theory of Love

Well, I accept that the title is absolutely stupid. Theorizing love. Yet this is what the entertainment industry doing for centuries. Theorizing loves in the form of stories, novels, movies and epics. But love depicted in movies is in a distorted way, giving a misinterpreted picture and idea, thus overshadowing the natural feelings and emotions of love. Arguments can be that, movies are reflections of real life, but it is also to be remembered that ideas reflected in movies are reflected on the society too. This has certainly affected the larger population of youth, which is reaffirmed by more number of teenage clients in counseling centers.  So I felt a refreshing perspective is need of the hour. Though I may not be much experienced for this kind of write up, I believe, am as experienced as it takes. So here it is…

Love is togetherness, forever and more, till death and even after that in the havens of god.

But there must be spaces in that togetherness, and let the music dance in those little spaces.

Love one another, but let that love not be as strong and mighty as a mountain.

Let it rather be as elegant and serene as a calm mountain stream between the shores of hearts.

Fill each other with joy.

But let it not be the only source of happiness.

Stand together.

But let each of you to be alone, for strings of guitar are alone, but they melt in music when in harmony.

Love is not stealing away the heart, but to give it happily, yet not into each other’s keeping.

Love is not “I can’t live without you”,

But, “You gave me what it takes to go on without you”.

(Inspired from the works of Khalil Gibran)

Interesting personalities I have encountered: Part-4- Uncolored racism

…With these thoughts reverberating in my mind, I heard a sound that created a stir in my stomach…

…I believe every passenger who commutes in suburban train would be aware of that sound. It’s a clapping sound mixed with clanging of glass bangles. This particular sound in train indicates the arrival of transgender. They come asking for money. And they will not get anything less than 5 Rs. Sometimes they make vulgar gestures, and behave in embarrassing manners also.  I get severely uncomfortable and nervous, when they enter into the compartment I am travelling in.. Sometimes in the past, I have given away money just to get rid of them.

But that day, after encountering last two personalities, I was determined not to give them any money. If that visually challenged old man and the lady can make ends meet in their life, in an honorable way, why can’t these people make it? Also, they don’t even tell, “Please”. They ask money with authority.

By this time, she came near me. I grew nervous. I tried not to look at her in eyes.  I was adjusting my sitting position many times, and grew uncomfortable. She clapped in front of my face. I shook my head vigorously looking down at the floor, still not looking at her. She gently patted on my cheeks and went away. After making sure she’s not around, I lifted my head up. I got calmed down slowly, and had a sense of relief of escaping from something.

I saw her standing near the door. I thought, why should they do like this? They are healthy, why can’t they do some work for earning? The frontal lobe of my cerebral cortex asked me a question in turn, “Will you or your parents would be interested in having a transgender as your housemaid or recommend them for any work?” The question gave me answer for all my questions.

We are responsible for what they are. They are victims of an ‘uncolored racism’. And we are the one to take the blame. We never treated them as a fellow human, but as untouchables.  We never gave them a chance to live, to study, to work, to survive.  Then how can we expect them to earn money, and live a decent life?  I just tried to remember all the application forms, where I ticked ‘M’ in gender space, none had a space for transgender.

And it occurred to me that, there’s no wrong in them for taking money with authority. It is a penalty for whatever we did to them and still doing to them. We are liable to them for spoiling and still spoiling their lives. We are bound to give them money, until we give them a chance to live a honest and honorable life.

Honestly, amidst all this social hatred, mockery, invalidation and humility, thrown towards them, each and every transgender are indeed great personalities, as it should take Impeccable courage, determination and perseverance to live among creepy creatures like us humans.

P.S: A day before writing down this article, I met another transgender in her 40s, in market.  But this time I didn't shy away, even as she came near me. Because now I understood that she too has feelings. Surprisingly she talked to me in excellent English, “What are you doing kid?” I answered looking at her eyes, “M. Des”. She questioned back, "Means?", I replied, "Master of Design". She looked at me and understood that, I am struggling to buy things, as the shop was crowded.

In a bold voice, she ordered the shopkeeper, “Ask what this kid wants, and give it to him”. Surprisingly I got immediate attention. She looked at me, like am a small kid and said with kindness, “Get what you want and go home soon”. 

Next she talked in Tamil to my friend standing next to me, “Nee enna panra” (What are you doing). My friend replied “Am Telugu”.  And immediately she started conversing fluently with him in Telugu. She spoke to them with a charm. I lived in a cosmopolitan environment for over a year, didn't learnt more than a bunch of words from other languages. I don't know how many more languages she  knew, but the ease with which she spoke English, Tamil, and Telugu, made me to have a respect on her.  

 I felt ashamed for misunderstanding them all through my life.

END NOTE

The three different people, whom I came across in this train journey, gave me a new definition for greatness and survival. Bear Grylls surviving in a remote forest populated by animals and poisonous creatures, is not real survival. But these individuals surviving in an ordinary world populated by a species called Homo sapiens, is real survival.  

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persist and endure inspite of obstacles ”- Christopher Reeve